The Passionate Eye: Private Violence
“Domestic violence is a door marked ‘Do Not Open’, and here is Private Violence, opening it, and saying, ‘Step inside, have a look.’” Vulture, Matt Zoller
Private Violence takes us behind closed doors to reveal the personal stories of two women who are fighting to change society’s attitude towards women when their boyfriends or husbands are violent, and how that violence is dealt with by the justice system.
Kit Gruelle
Private Violence introduces us to Deanna, a victim turned survivor, and Kit Gruelle, a survivor who advocates for justice on behalf of Deanna and other battered women. The documentary highlights the complex, frustrating realities of the abuse women suffer every day at the hands of intimate partners, as well as the difficulties of prosecuting domestic violence cases.
The documentary explores a simple, but deeply disturbing fact of North American life – that often the most dangerous place for a woman is her own home. Every day in the US, at least four women are murdered by abusive (and often, ex) partners. The WHO estimates that 1 in 4 woman in Canada will experience intimate partner violence or sexual violence in her lifetime.
1,700 American women are murdered every year when they leave or try to leave abusive relationships, and 48% of the women killed in domestic violence homicides are murdered after they leave or are in the process of leaving. The most common question asked of domestic violence victims is, “Why didn’t you leave? Deanna and Kit’s stories illustrate the complexities and problems inherent in that question.
Deanna survived kidnapping and abuse at the hands of her estranged husband, Robbie. She and her young daughter were taken to hospital by police where she revealed what had happened during the cross-country trip. But Deanna found it difficult to press charges because the abuse happened across state lines, and while she was badly beaten, she wasn’t harmed enough to satisfy the law.
A North Carolina prosecutor explains to advocate Kit Gruelle that because Deanna had no broken bones or internal injuries, her abuser might only face charges of “misdemeanor assault against a female” and 150 days in jail.
Kit knows intimately what women in Deanna’s situation face. A survivor herself, she’s been an advocate for women for more than 25 years, following the accidental death of her abusive husband. Only his death freed her from a cycle of violence.
“People asked me why I didn’t leave,” she says. “He was trained by the U.S. Marine Corps to hunt people down and kill them, and he told me that he would hunt me down and kill me. That’s why I didn’t leave.”
Motivated by her own experiences, Kit has advocated for hundreds of women and built an extensive network of professionals across the country to help support women in violent relationships.
When U.S. attorney Kimlani Ford sees the horrifying images of Deanna after her abuse, she recognizes the potential to prosecute Robbie for violation of the federal Violence Against Women Act. “It seemed if we didn’t do it, no one else would. Something had to be done,” says the prosecutor. The kidnapping charges brought against Deanna’s estranged husband, not the violent assault, carry far harsher penalties in federal court.
At trial, the defense creates the impression that Deanna took the trip willingly and never tried to escape her abuser. Despite her status as a victim, Deanna is forced to defend her actions to keep herself and her daughter safe. Private Violence reveals the flawed system that she and many women face when taking legal action against their abusers.
“After Robbie kidnapped her, and almost killed her, she had to listen to the police, the DA and even her own family ask her why she didn’t just leave him,” Kit says. She then points out that it was because Deanna had left the relationship that her husband kidnapped her and nearly beat her to death. Many battered women face this dilemma and must wonder how their abuser will retaliate if they leave.
Today, Deanna is a survivor attending college full-time. Kit continues her work advocating for women who are enduring similar struggles and training others to do the same.
“I’m always astonished and moved by the people who want to come into this work, because it’s not easy,” says Kit. “You see things that you couldn’t make up…and witness victims shedding that skin, and finally leaving the violence behind. It’s just wonderful. It can be heartbreaking and frustrating, but it can be unbelievably uplifting.”
Private Violence is directed and produced by Cynthia Hill for Markay Media.
Watch Full Episode Below.
